That Sound it Makes...

It’s been awhile Tumblr. 11/30/19.

Late night usually gets my brain flowing. I recently finished a Taiwanese drama called a boy named flora a. Not the best English title because usually Taiwanese people directly translate it, but it makes more sense in mandarin I promise.

After watching the show, I have to admit that I cried at a lot of the parts. One the music was amazing, two the cast was amazing at their roles, and three, the plot of the drama hit some memories that I think in recent years, I’ve just thrown to the back of my head.

The drama reminded me of the delicacy of life and how at any moment, any relative or parents or friends that I’ve known forever may disappear. Family and friends are the most important things in this world. Even if you have no money and you are down on your luck, family and friends are there to support you no matter what. Obviously some families don’t really consider supporting each other but instead choose to create a dog eat dog environment which you have no support. Overall it just got me thinking about my own family and what’s been going on for the last 10 years.

Honestly, I’ve lost touch with my family in Taiwan. I see them once a year or once every two years. Longest was 3 years. Maybe it’s wishful thinking but I wish they would stop working for a weekend and we can all go camping like we used to again. That’s all I really need. To enjoy the time like we used to. Now time flows like a river and endless. Everyone does their own thing and nobody wants to spend time with each other really…

It hits me hard because I don’t want the passing of a relative or my grandparents to be the moment that brings us all together. I had to go through it once. The sense of regret of not spending more time with my grandma was hard. It hit me a lot harder than I expected because I started thinking about all the things she told me in the past about working hard and becoming a doctor but I didn’t really do any of that. I really felt like I disappointed her by not challenging myself in life. But that’s kind of how i’ve always been. Taking the easy way out. I guess that’s why I’m on the path that I’m on today.

But… slowly I’m growing up. Just like in the drama, the main character had to grow up slowly with family situations that kept popping up. Maybe that’s just how I’m supposed to handle my life too.

Long story short, I really am truly starting to appreciate the little things in life, thinking about the present rather than the future that I can’t control. Slowly but surely, 我會轉變成大人.